PIMPFACTORY presents:
BACK TO SCHOOL party on 27th Jan.
Come in your old school uniform to the 'Pavilion' at Far East Square and party the night away!!
Call or sms ELIZA at 97203261 for tickets now!
presale - $18

it was our eighth month anni two days ago.
20th january 2006.
a day that i've been waiting for for a very long time.

i bought her present a week before,
four different towels from aussino.
one large dark green bathing towel,
one royal red medium hand towel,
one light green/yellow small face towel,
and one blue small face towel.

crappiest idea ive ever thought about,
but im glad she liked it.

the day started off in school,
and the same old things that goes on inside there.
and right after chinese remedial i sped my way back home.

my beloved was already waiting for me underneath my condo,
with a bouquet of beautiful red roses,
my favourite.

no one could have imagined the happiness and joy i felt,
its the very idea of she remembering what you like,
and also the blissful, close to tears feeling of recieving it from her.

hugging the bouquet of roses close to my bosom,
we went up to my house.

was supposed to hurry to bathe and go out to watch memoirs of a geisha,
but i had just too much to say to her,
and we ended up spending too much time with her mp3 and chatting.

so we stayed at home,
me bathing,
and she putting in songs into her mp3 from my comp,
and couch potato-ing at the usual spot to watch some tv.

dressed up after that and headed down to toapayoh lorong eight for some kway chap.
it was delicious, so to say.
accompanied by our usual orders of teh beng.

took a cab down to toapayoh centre to pick kane and juan up before heading down to coco latte.
all of us got a vip card!
except that we had to fill in our particulars before recieving the vip card.
i couldnt think of a proper id for myself on the spot,
so i got my lovely to fill the form in for me.
but turns out my silly girl filled in quite a phony looking id for me.
was pretty amused when i managed to get the vip card as well.
got in for free,
and had free flows for the entire night.

tar-ed the standard house pours,
except coco latte's house pours were a little more extensive and better than other club's housepours.
ontop of the usual vodka, gin and ton and bourbon housepours,
we had a constant refill of vodka shot, gin and ton, tequila shots, vodka cran, whisky shot and my beloved's orange juice.

played spot the difference games on the player in the club,
four of us managed to clinch the top scorer!
went up to the second level to continue drinking and dancing to the music.

my baby sent me home after that,
but all i could remember was myself staggering and leaning against my baby,
and then a semi-knocked out ride back home.

along the way up we met my sister and sean,
and four of us went up together.
ive no idea how i ended up in the toilet,
but the two of us were puking alongside each other.

my love only had a gin and ton that night,
so we suspected that the kway chap was the one that caused food poisoning.
i was puking for both,
the food poisoning and from the drinks.

and everything ended beautifully with my girlfriend putting me on the bed with a goodnight kiss,
and a straight knock out after that.

somehow i woke up again at 5am,
saw my love lying beside me,
got up to stroke her hair and i went back to bed.
i dont know what happened to me,
but i repeated the entire process again at 7am.

and i suffered from a hang over for the entire day yesterday.

my baby was worse,
she had bad food poisoning plus she was feeling weak all over.

went down to her house yesterday to visit her.
had a nice and peaceful sleep in her arms again even though it was only for about an hour.
both of us felt much better after that deep sleep,
and i joined my family for dinner over at imperial treasure.

and this baby,
is one girl that i want for myself forever.
and will be,
for a very very long time to come.

there's no other better way to make me so calm and peacefully happy than spending an entire afternoon falling asleep inside your arms with you patting me to bed.
i have never been able to slip into dreamland so softly and gently before,
just like the soft waves of the sea gently caressing the beach,
softly teasing the feets of the laughing people at the beach.
so peaceful and calm,
just like the nature.

and its only you,
only you,
that can put me to bed so tenderly.

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home


and sometimes i think i react too much about the smallest things on earth.
too much drama in your life makes you feel really fucked up sometimes.
sometimes i just want to be normal for a bit.
take it easy eliza
deep breath
and shut up with all your dramamama.
sometimes i feel like keeping all my energy, spark, live, laughter all into little bottles.
because i feel like i seem to be losing it all.


And I find myself trying to stay by the phone
Because your voice always helps me to not feel so alone


call me,
because everytime i hear your voice,
i feel as though ive never been happier.


Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home

maybe i take things too seriously,
way too seriously.
i ought to get a grip on myself.
where have all your sense of humour went to?
where have all your spontaneity went to?
where are all your energy, live, spark, laughter?
catch them back,
before everything is too late.

In my dreams I'm not so far away from home,
What am I in a world so far away from home,
All my life all the time so far away from home,
Without you I'll be so far away from home.


my pillar of support,
my pillar of strength.
the one thats always unwavering
beside me, with me, carrying me.

you, my baby.
the one that never left me.
the one that never gave up on me.
the one who lifted me up.
and continued to carry me all the way through no matter how the weight seems to get heavier and heavier.

thank you babe,
my girlfriend, bestfriend, confidant, and my everything all rolled into one.

If we could make it through the darkest night
we'd have a brighter day.
the world I see beyond your pretty eyes,
makes me want to stay.



and apologies to everyone for the big hoohah in class today.
okay probably not everyone,
just the people who spent hours talking sense into me and who witnessed it.

yes i know,
what doesnt kill me just makes me stronger.
and crying is a sign of weakness.

probably all along ive put way too much stress on myself,
and let the smallest things affect me in however way it comes.

ill get over it,
and take good control of myself.

and no more breaking down in the middle of a class
using up manpin's huge packet of tissues
and then have manpin and shann trying to talk sense into me when it seems as though nothing seems to be able to get better.

and then listening to rachel sharing her experiences with me,
letting me know that my situation isnt really the worse,
and that its not end of the world.
because after hearing her story you'll realise what you go through might not be really that bad.

and then crying myself to sleep on shann's table,
falling asleep to the soft coos of the emo songs from shann's nano.

and then you wake up,
and everything will get better.
what doesnt kill you,
just makes you much stronger.

and i dry my eyes again.

and to zobby and shann,
im fine really.

im fine cos ill be fine
and i know everything's gonna be allright.
somehow or another.

thats to the only two people who left a comment on my blog,
and both to tell me to cheer up and tell me that they're there.
sweet, really.

im fine really,
at least i know ill still be alive and kicking for a long time to come.

why do you want to be with me, really?
because really, im just a cracked up asshole who has a fucked up mind thats going crankier by the day.
ever since i felt all these stress coming to me i havent been myself.
and i completely hate this idiot that im becomming.

im becomming a crazy
cranky
insane
fucked up
petty
unreasonable asshole.

wake up eliza,
she deserves someone much better than you.

unreasonable
petty
over sensitive
melancholic
full of tears
reverse psychology
stubborn
fear to face matters
running away
hiding
weak
vulnerable

were never words that described me in the past.

but now i feel like just dropping myself,
giving up,
and throw myself into despair.

at least its much better than what im facing right now.

but i wont.
because thats cowardice,
weak,
and a wimp.

human beings are born to think,
born to work,
born to do.

not born to run,
born to hide.

all the time what you see on the outside
is never whats inside.
in this society if all you see is surface deep,
then ive got to say i pity you.
because nothing is as simple as it seems.

behind every success are curtains and curtains to hide the pain, anguish, fear, sweat thats behind it.
most of the people never show,
thats why most of the people never know.

and then so why do people still work so hard for things that people dont appreciate,
people dont see,
people dont feel?

because eventually if you work hard enough and you win everyone else around you,
people will see it,
and you'll get what you want.

and thats when you know deep down inside of yourself,
who is the real winner here.

and most of us know that being able to get everything you want,
do everything you want,
is worth it for all the shit that goes on behind the curtains of your own glamorous stage.

my dead computer's finally revived,
with the extra bonus that all my files are still intact.

my harddisk crashed, so..
my cousin had to copy my files and redo the entire comp.
but the bad part,
from windows xp now its windows 2000.
and yes windows 2000 is so much worse than windows xp.
but cant help it!
my cousin couldnt find the windows xp cd.

been busy busy everyday,
either studying, tuitioning or catching up on sleep or having school, cca and all those.
it sucks la if you ask me.
plus the extra shit of falling really sick.
saddening.